Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Dear Dad in Heaven

Dear Daddy,

It has been 11 LONG years since I last saw your face, heard your voice, and hugged your neck. I miss you terribly. Life doesn't seem fair at times. Sometimes I wonder why you had to go so soon. Why you left 3 kids behind, but I know if it was your choice you wouldn't have left us. I realize that you are still with us in spirt, but its not the same. As much as I want you back here on Earth with me, I cant ask that. That would be very selfish on my part. You are having the time of your life where you are. You have the perfect heart now. No more suffering! Its all over Daddy!! Now you can breath without struggling,no more machines, and your free from all the medication. I have come to understand not to dwell on the word why! Everything happens for a reason. Dad, I believe your death occurred so I could live. As crazy as it may sound to other people, you know exactly what I'm talking about. As we both know, sadly, there are not enough organs available for those in need. You chose to go so I could live. Well, at least that is what I think.
You would be so proud of me Dad! I graduated high school with straight A's despite battling the disease. It was extremely hard, but I was determined to make you proud and myself. I was determined I was not going to let the disease turn me into a victim. Graduation was very hard for me, because you were not able to attend. You always talked about my graduation day, and if I made straight A's you would buy me any kind of car I wanted. Well, don't worry Dad, Mam-Maw stepped in and did that for me in your honor.
I'm starting to promote organ donation now also like I promised you. I'm working on it as much as I can. I have some plans up my sleeve. I do not want if I can help it, for another family to experience what our family did. No one should have to experiance the heart ache they we did.
The boys are doing good. We are all grown now, Brian is 30, Tyler 24, and I'm 26. I wish you were here to see the boys now you would be so proud of the men they have become. You now have a grandson! Brian, had his first child and its a boy! He named him Brandon. He just turned one. Brian tells Brandon all about you. You are his Papa. Dad, the strangest thing is Brandon, looks exactly like you. Maw-Maw pulled out some of your baby pictures and they looked almost identical. Brian is doing a great job raising him. You were right though Dad, Brian is getting paid back from some of the stuff he did as a kid. Haha I think its pretty funny if you ask me.
The holidays are coming up, which is hard on all of us, but we all know you are shinning down on us. We still leave your chair empty with your picture in it and some flowers. It just helps us deal with you not being here better. Well, I guess I'm going to end this letter with one of my favorite poems, and one of my favorite songs. You know how much I love and miss you, but I will tell you again. I miss you so so much. People say time will heal. It does in some aspects, but in another it makes it harder. I know you are being well taken care of, so that puts my mind at ease. I'm sending you a big hug and kiss from me, the boys, and Brandon. Here is a picture of your handsome Grandson!

Love Always and Forever,
Your Princess

The Broken Chain~Unknown Author

We little knew that day,
God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you.
You did not go alone.
For part of us went with you,
The day God called you home.

You left us beautiful memories,
Your love is still our guide.
And although we can not see you,
You are always at our side.

Our family chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.


  1. Tara,
    I just got finished reading your blog to Bruce... we both cried! You are so inspiring to us. We have kids your age. We don't know how we could ever handle what you have been through. Bruce is about the what age your father would be so we are both very touched! When you have time please listen to "Daddy's Hands" by Holly Dunn and "Heal" by Natalie Grant
    These songs are sent to you with much love. No one will ever fill that chair that belongs to your Dad but know that we always have a shoulder for you little one. We have 3 boys: We feel in someway like you are our little one. God Bless you and keep you safe as you lie in your "Father's Arms!" We Love You, Bruce @WarriorPatriot and Carol @KelliChat aka @OkieGray Gray

  2. Tara, this blog is beautiful...and you are an inspiration!!!!

  3. Tara love, I just discovered and read your blog - this one post anyway. Moved tremendously to tears. Your heart and it is so definitely your heart, is so full of love, wisdom, insight and compassion. The WORLD is blessed by your presence and yes your Daddy is beaming down on you and is SO VERY PROUD of his princess.

    I love you T!

  4. Oh great,... just another number! LOL LOL LOL

    It's Amy! @allaboutenergy! LOL Typepad screwed up... ;-)

    I'm going to be another long number...

  5. Dear one, prayers are with you. It's hard to lose a parent so young. My daughter, now 23, lost hers at 15. She looks just like him so I see him in her every day. And she carries many of his personality traits as well. You will always be your dad's princess and I know you know that. I had my dad for a long long time, but he passed away 2 months ago and I know he is with mom now, both in the presence of Jesus....just as your dad is. You are not alone...prayers are with you and probably from people you will never know, like me. I'm so glad you talk to your dad! You know, I think they are given the grace by God to hear us. God bless you. <<>>

  6. My sweet friend. What an inspiration you are. My Dad is also in heaven. We find the holidays so hard.
    I've been so blessed to meet you by way of Twitter. You have such a special spirit about you. I know your Dad is very proud of you. Above all of that I know how much God loves you & is working in your life.
    Much love to you & yours today and always.

  7. Tara... so beautifully written from your touched mine.
    blessings from our home to yours

  8. I lost my 57 year old dad who was never sick or unhealty . That morning hhe shoveled a small amount of snow and my grandma said go check on it dad he was in his truck she said and it's been about 10 min. Now I was panicking I open the door and he was slightly alive I got to hold him kiss him say everything I never got to,the ambulance came fast they started working got him to the ambulance and said we have a slight hart beat.but when we got to the Dr and sent us to the family room and we all know that's not good.they said my young handsome 57 year old perfect dad was gone.I lost it between him passing in my arms and just the whole unexpected death it was nuts for me and the whole family.I miss him more every second it's been 2 weeks now and the pain is not let up a bit.the only piece of mind is I know my dad's in heaven and I will be reunited in heaven with him! Please pray for me andy family we are hurting! We lost the piler of our family,thanks to all .I really need insparation from people that can relate.