Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Honoring my Father


Instead of having to go back and edit the whole story I am just going to post a new blog that I wrote today.
My life changed forever on November 13th, 1998. My father died that day, and I lost the greatest man I ever knew. I could not have asked for a better Father. He was not only my father but my best friend. Cardiomyopathy was the cause of his death. Cardiomyopathy is also known as the silent killer. Most people do not experience any major problems until the disease has gone too far. Cardiomyopathy causes the heart to stiffen which does not allow the blood to flow correctly to the heart. The only cure for this disease is a heart transplant. Naturally when my family was given the news that our only hope for him was a heart transplant, we were devastated. The doctors reassured us that Dad would get a new heart in no time. He was a great candidate for a new heart. I put my faith in God and made the best out of this situation. I knew at this point time was precious, and I made a conscious effort to make as many memories as I could. I was only 15 during this time. I would go to school. Then from school I would go straight to the hospital. I would do my home work in the room with Dad, eat supper with him, and watch Jeopardy. Watching the father I loved deteriorating so fast, in front of my own eyes was heart wrenching for me, because no matter how hard I wished for it, he was not going to get better. I remember some nights falling asleep watching his chest rise to make sure he was still breathing. When I got up at night I would always plant a kiss on his forehead. I knew he was not going to make it, but I held on to maybe a miracle happening. I didnt want to let my Father go! Life was going to be so different for me without him, and I was not prepared to face the world without my Daddy! When Dad died, a part of me died with him. I will never be the same again. I still have a very hard time coming to the understanding that he is gone. There is not a single day that goes by that I do not think of him. I miss seeing his face, hearing his voice, and I would give anything in this world to be able to see and talk to him one more time. When I am feeling overwhelmed with sadness I tell myself to look at my blessings and count them. I was blessed to have the most amazing father for 15 years. The memories we have together no one can take away from me. They are mine forever and always and I treasure them. Daddy was my hero, and I can never thank him enough for everything he has taught me. There are things that happen in our lives that are not meant for us to understand. I will never understand why my father passed away at such a young age leaving me behind. But one thing I do know is that everything happens for a reason. Although his death has scarred me for life, it didn't kill me. And what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. I am determined to make something good come out of this tragedy. So, throughout my life, I will honor him in many ways. I am going to make a life time dedication to bringing awareness to organ donation, so no other family will have to go through what my family did. He would want me to go on with my life, to be happy and productive. And this is what I shall do, as I know he is watching over me. He is the Angel on my shoulder, and I thank God every single day for giving me the best father in the world. I will always love you Daddy! Rest in peace my sweet Father. Dance with those Angels Daddy, DANCE!
Please join me in honoring my Dad. I'm going to tell you how you can. Make peace with anyone and everyone that you hold bitterness and anger towards. I would strongly encourage you to deal with those issues TODAY. You do not know if you have a day, a week or a year. I never imagined November 13th, 1998 would be the last time I ever saw my father. I can proudly say that I have no regrets. My Dad knew how I felt about him and I knew how he felt about me. Everything I needed to say to him was said. And I know my father was ready to meet Jesus. Nothing would make my father happier than you following his example and make those same commitments today.

5 comments:

  1. I am very touched/I know you loved your father very much.It shows in your writing.I am very honored that you have decided to share this with me.Thank you very much for sharing.I will keep you in my prayers..

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  2. BRAVO PRINCESS you bring such wisdom to thee truly,you are the most beautiful lady I ever have had the pleasure to meet I truly mean that.

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  3. So sad. Hit me in the heart. I wish you a blessed day this november 13. You will be in my prayers.

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  4. Hi Tara,

    Ijust read your comment on Twitter about organ donation and after reading your post I understand why you said that. Organ donation is such a wonderful gift that I really don't understand why more folks don't agree to do this. I look foward to following your blog.

    Hugs,
    Charlotte

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  5. Hi Tara it was nice meeting earlier tonight on IM chat. I just read some of your blogs...my goodness you have an amazing story. You are truly a walking, breathing miracle! I'm so blessed to know you. Sending you lots of love and good energy! :) Peace to you and I hope to chat with you soon.

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